翻譯：Always On the Side of the Egg: Haruki Murakami 永遠會站在蛋這邊：村上春樹

重新細讀過村上這篇講詞，只能說感觸良多。
這篇發表于2009年2月的講詞，當然已有數種中譯版，在下也都讀過。但就像譯者之一朱學恆先生所言，翻譯是向如此好文最佳致敬，所以在下亦東施效顰之，自己用自己的話，翻譯村上春樹這篇經典講詞。您有興趣，不妨花點時間，在這2012年行將結束的當兒，讀他一回。

Always On the Side of the Egg: Haruki Murakami
永遠會站在蛋這邊：村上春樹

I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
今日我來到耶路撒冷，是因為我係小說家，也就是說，是個專事編織謊言的人。

Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
當然，不是只有小說家說謊。政客，也說謊，這我們都知道。外交官與軍方，不時各有各的謊要撒，中古車業務、肉販、建商也是。然而，小說家的謊與他人不同之處，在於不會有人批評小說家撒謊不道德。說實在，他撒的謊愈大愈好，而他謊撒的愈妙，還愈受大眾與書評讚賞。怎麼會那樣呢？

My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
我的答案是：說起來，靠著撒妙謊，也就是杜撰真假莫辨的故事，小說家就能帶出真相，重新讓真相受到認識。想領會真相的原貌，和確切描述，大多數時候幾乎是緣木求魚。但這正是為什麼小說家試圖要引真相出篋，好抓住真相的尾巴，再把它轉移到虛構的場合，拿虛構的形式來替代上場。然而要達到這境界，我們得先搞清楚，在我們心底，究竟這真相賴在哪兒。要扯好謊，這是關鍵。

Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
不過，今天我可沒打算說謊。我會儘量誠實。一年到頭，我難得有幾天不跟撒謊扯上關係，而今天剛剛好，就是那幾天之一。

So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
讓我向各位老實說吧。好些人勸我別來這兒領耶路撒冷文學奬。有人甚至警告我，敢來，就要發動杯葛我的書。

The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
至於原因，當然就是蹂躪加薩的那場惡戰。聯合國報告指出，加薩市在封鎖下，超過千人喪生，當中有許多無武裝平民，尤其是兒童與老人。

Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
收到獲獎通知後，我每每自問，在這種節骨眼上，不辭千里去以色列領文學奬，是否恰當;是否會讓人以為我在這場衝突裡選邊站，還為這個國家，舉壓倒性軍力傾巢而出的政策背書。我當然不想造成這樣的觀感。我既不贊同任何戰爭，我也不附同任何國家。當然，我也不想我的書成了杯葛的目標。

Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that." It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
然而，經過深思熟慮，最後我還是下定決心來到這兒。我這麼決定，其中一個原因是太多人都勸我別來。或許我就像好多小說家一樣，總是想唱反調。如果眾人都告訴我，尤其是在警告我說：「別去」，「別那麼做」，那我偏想「要去」，也想「那麼做」。不妨這麼講吧，身為小說家，這是我的天性。小說家這種人可特別了。管它什麼事，沒有親眼目睹，或親手接觸，他們這種人不會真心相信的。

And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
那就是我身在此地的原因。我選擇出席，而非缺席。我選擇親身目睹，而非避之不見。我選擇向各位演講，而非一語不發。

This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course.
但這並不是說，我來這裡是要表達什麼政治訊息的。評斷對錯，當然才是小說家最重要的任務。

It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
至於要用什麼方式傳布那些評斷，每一位作家自有定見。我自己的偏好是，化評斷於故事中，故事則傾向於超現實。因為這個緣故，今天在各位面前，我並不打算發表單刀直入的政治訊息。

Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
然而，請容我表達一個很個人的訊息。我寫小說的時候，心裡總存著這理念。就算我從來沒有做到刻意把它寫下來，然後還找面牆貼上去這種程度，但其實，這理念本來就雋刻在我的心坎上，大概可以這麼說吧：

"Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg."
有堵高不可破的牆，有顆砸去粉身碎殼的蛋; 在兩者之間，我永遠會站在蛋這邊。

Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg. Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
是的，不論牆是多麼義正詞嚴，不論蛋有多麼咎由自取，我就會站在蛋這邊。誰是誰非自會有公論，或許由時間或歷史才能定奪。如果一位小說作者，倚仗牆勢為文，不論是出於什麼動機，試問這種作品還能有什麼可取之處？

What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
打這種比方的意涵是什麼？其中有些當然再清楚也不過。轟炸機，坦克車，火箭和白磷彈就是那堵高不可破的牆。蛋，就是手無寸鐵，橫遭壓垮，焚燒，射殺之害的老百姓。這是比方裡其中一個寓意。

This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell. This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
但也不是就這麼打住。還有更深層的意義。這麼想吧。每個人，在程度上多多少少也就是那顆蛋。每個人都是生靈，既獨一無二，無可取代，也都一樣被裹在脆弱的蛋殻裡。我是這樣子，各位也都是。我們所有人，在某種程度上，都在對抗高不可破的牆。而這牆的名字，就叫作體制。體制本來應該要保護我們的，但有時候體制卻自行其是，開始冷血，有效率，系統化地對付我們，也驅使我們那麼樣去對付其他人。

I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it. The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them. I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我寫小說只有一個理由，就是彰顯個體靈魂的尊嚴，使之重新受到認識。故事的目的是警醒世人，讓體制在光亮下受到審視，以免我們的靈魂，受困於體制之網的糾纏，變得自甘墮落。我全心相信，小說家的職責，是藉著寫出種種故事：關乎生死的故事，愛的故事，讓人流淚，嚇得緊張發抖、笑到花枝亂顫的故事，不斷試圖去闡明，每一個個體，身之為人的獨特。這就是為何我們能夠孜孜矻矻，日復一日兢兢業業創作的原因。

My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house. One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war.
我的父親去年以九十之齡過逝。他是退休的老師，也是在家的佛教法師。當年研究所還沒念完，父親就被征召入伍，送去中國打仗。戰後才出生的我，兒時總看他每天清早於餐前，在家中佛壇，做足深長肅穆的早課。有次我問他為何要這麼做，他回答說，是為戰爭中的往生者祈福。

He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike. Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
他說，他為所有往生者祈福，敵友皆然。凝視父親屈膝於佛壇前的背影，我幾能感受亡靈縈繞在他身旁。

My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我的父親已經過逝，也帶走他的記憶; 記憶的究竟，我無從知悉。但他身旁縈繞亡靈的印象，一直留在我回憶中。父親身後留給我的也許不多，這件事卻是最深刻的。

I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System. To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold. If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
我今天希望傳達給各位的，只有這件事。我們都生而為人，不分國籍、種族、宗教，面對體制這堵厚牆，無一不是脆弱的蛋。也許不論怎麼看，我們都沒什麼贏面。因為比起來。牆太高，太強，也太冷酷。但如果說，我們還希望能圖點勝算，那一定是基於這樣的信念：無論彼此，每個人的的確確都是獨一無二，也都無可取代。少不了的，還有所有人相濡以沫的溫情。

Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing. We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own. The System did not make us: We made The System.
各位花點時間想一想。我們每個人都有實實在在，活生生的靈魂。體制可沒有。絕對不要讓體制利用我們。絕對不要讓體制自行其是。我們可不是體制造就的：我們才是體制的主人。

That is all I have to say to you.
那就是我要說的。

I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
感謝耶路撒冷文學奬頒給敝人。感謝世界各地眾人願為敝人讀者。很高興今日敝人能在此向各位發表演說。

在下於此，僅代村上向讀完講詞的您致謝。
翻譯之事，難謂未有謬誤疏漏，倘您有任何高見，還請惠賜，在下皆竭誠歡迎，共討論之，以共進之。

謹向村上春樹致敬
This translation is my tribute to Haruki Murakami.